Monday, March 1, 2010

PostHeaderIcon Cara: Can we parents get on the same page?



Can we? Some parents of my kids' friends are awesome. They are doing their best, just like I am everyday...making a mistake or two along the way. Some of those parents are my dearest friends and not only do my kids get great friends but, so do I!

But to some parents....I just would like to politely ask, "Can you get it together?"

Please don't sit at a meeting looking down your nose at the "talk of the town" 14 year old who is pregnant, while you go on an on about her parents who are "obviously" idiots. Really? You have NO CLUE what your kid has been doing around town all these (pre) teenage years. You have no clue what she has seen and done on the computer. After all (and I quote) you "barely know how to turn on the computer!" Really? Take a class lady cause you need to have a clue.

Please don't assume I "do" my kids' homework as you obviously do. Do I help? Sure when they were little. Now I couldn't help with HS math even if I wanted to. Do I help with special projects? Of course. Do I have to "get home" because I have a Social Studies essay to write? NO!! Maybe when I was 14 but not at 40something, thanks. What service do you think you are providing for your child, as you commiserate with him about the mean teachers who give too much homework as you write his essay? Life is a pain in the ass sometimes. Sometimes you have a boss that gives too much work in too little time, or a family that dirties clothes faster than you and your fancy washing machine can clean them. Deal with it. School is your job. Do it and do it to the best of your ability....it only gets harder.

Please don't drag my kid along with yours in the rush to grow up too fast. There's a time for girl friends, Rated M video games and attitudes years from now. Now it's just about playing, having fun, or getting visits from the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. I know how fast the time between make believe and learner's permits goes. I am in no rush, thanks.

I am not saying it's my way or the highway. OK, well I do say that sometimes, but not this time. I know everyone has their own parenting style. But if we can agree about the big things like R-rated movies and disrespecting adults then we can all live happily ever after. Parenting is hard enough some days we gotta remember we are on the same team.

Jenn's two cents: - I think there are quite a few parents out there who didn't get the memo when they got pregnant - being a parent is not about being a friend to your child or being cool, it's about keeping them safe and protected for as long as possible and teaching them about life - the rest will come quick enough and when they grow-up, you can become great friends. Forget about "keeping up with the neighbors" sometimes its better just to keep your distance! Everyone does things a little differently - that's why I stick with friends who may not have the same parenting style as I do - but at least we are on the same chapter, if not page, most days!

2 comments:

Stephanie Faris said...

I agree. It's SO easy to judge others but I think the key is to focus on what WE are doing with our lives, in EVERY way. We can't control what others do. I guess people do this to take some of their focus off themselves. It makes them feel better somehow?

Rebecca D said...

Side note to parents of teens (mine are 14 & 17)... time is almost up already... stop worrying about you kid "not liking you" and teach them some responsibility... if you keep saying he/she is just a kid, don't be surprised when that is what you end up with... an adult aged kid! (ok... stepping down from my soapbox...)

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