Monday, October 25, 2010

PostHeaderIcon Cara: Striving for perfection?

Someone in a recent "heated" discussion said to me "Oh I forgot you are the perfect mother". I dam near lost my mind. Granted there were other things going on before and during this "discussion" there were contributors to why I wanted to throttle this person. But later on after the dust settled I was thinking about why that was the one thing this person said to really set me off.

Do I think I am the "perfect mother"?  Do other people perceive me as someone who thinks she is the "perfect mother"?

Do I think I am perfect? Not even close. Do I sometimes set myself up striving for perfection and miss the mark? Yeah, most days. I think we would all love to be perfect at least once in awhile. And I would go out on a limb and say some days I could come pretty close...mothering wise that is. (in other ways...maybe not so much)

As moms we have some days we are awesome. (someone else also once told me "you are awesome at life"...I prefer to remind myself of that comment rather than "perfect") We are right on it. Make the right decision. Take the kid to the doctor 'cause we just know they are getting sick to find they have a raging ear infection brewing. Make them a birthday cake they still talk about 12 years later.

I could make an equally long list of the days when we are maybe not so perfect. One that would include yelling like a banshee when they have put us over the edge for the 10th time in a day. Or not having the patience of a saint that it takes to help a kid get four pages of spelling done at 5:00 in the afternoon. Or looking for a moment, at a teenager with thoughts of ways to inflict pain on them, while thinking this cannot be the sweet child who once thought I was all that and a bag of chips.

So do I strive for perfection? Maybe in 100 little ways. Will there ever be total perfection? Never. I hope that is not the face I present to the world. I know I would not want to be around someone who thinks they are perfect. Imperfect people who brag all the time are enough for me to want to pummel...never mind the perfect person.

So June Cleaver I will never be. Maybe somewhere between her and Rosanne Connor is a comfy place to sit. I'll take it.


Jenn's two cents:  I think most Mom's strive to be the best they can be - some days we hit the mark other days we are way off...but when people see a Mom who has more good days than bad they label her, maybe fighting back their own insecurities regarding parenting? Cara is a GREAT mom - her kids behavior and her relationship with them proves it - I bet if you asked MP about his mom he would say she is perfect even when she is screaming like a banshee!


Anonymous said...

God never demands perfection....He only asks that we try our best. I'd say you are right on!

Lisa Kennedy said...

Hi There Cara,
I read your blog about someone accusing you of being the perfect mother. and I wanted you to know you never come off like that to me. I think that you are a thoughtful mother and that you really enjoy creating and experience for your children and your family and that is to be admired. I never ever take that as judgey from you, it is like you love doing it and you enjoy it.

Sometimes women that make remarks like that are jealous or they feel they are missing the mark. I am do not do the incredible job you do decorating your home, as I mentioned at your book club but I appreciate it so much and I admore it.

So frig anyone that has something to say- no one is perfect but sometimes God gives you something you love to do that creates beautiful memories for your family.

Just my 2 cents

Cara and Jenn said...

Thanks Lisa. I know sticks and stones and all that...when you have you time to rethink what and who said a cutting can understand how insignificant they and what they say are. Thanks for all the kind things you said.

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