Tuesday, October 25, 2011

PostHeaderIcon Jenn; Got Nothing?

I wish I could tell you my life is boring and there is nothing to do.  I wish I could tell you that I sit around all day while the minions are doing all the dirty work. 

There is rarely a day when there is nothing on my calender.  At the bare minimum the squares are filled with dance or cheerleading or brownies or tennis.  Today I happen to have all of those penciled in.  Chauffeuring my children around is not always my idea of productivity.  Sometimes I feel like the minon,  at every ones beckon call to be whatever is needed.  Chauffeur, cook, homework helper, laundress... you get the idea.  Some days there may be something penciled in that is for me and me alone.  Book Club, dinner party, night out... but those days are few and far between.  At a doctors appointment yesterday I was complaining about feeling overwhelmed.  That all I do is cater to others.  My doctor, a very wise woman, said I need to put myself on my to-do list,  EVERYDAY.  It can be as simple as take a walk, call  a friend, read a chapter in a book, watch a movie. Just something to give myself time each day. 

There are days I wished I still worked.  It would get me off the hook of so much of the daily grind.  It would force my children to rely less on me and more on themselves.  But this is what I signed up for.  I always knew I wanted kids.  I balanced work and kids for awhile until I realized how much I was missing.  I gave up a career to be a mom.  I am okay with that. My job is my family and there will be days when dance and cheerleading and tennis are no longer on the calender - unless I take them up - and I am okay with that too. I will find time to put myself first in about 9 years or so but for now, I will try to put myself on the calender for a bit each day - even if its just a walk around the block.


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