Tuesday, July 10, 2012

PostHeaderIcon Jenn:Grateful

I couldn't add on to Cara's grateful list Sunday because I only had my ipad and blogspot doesn't support blogging from an ipad so it makes it nearly impossible.  I thought about how grateful I was all day on Sunday.  For so many things. I am truly blessed and though I don't always realize that when the kids are making a mess or the phone is ringing off the hook or the emails are piling up, Sunday I realized it more than ever.

My daughter used to tell me a story about a little girl who she shared her lunch with.  I asked her why she shared her lunch with her and she told me because she has to buy everyday and she doesn't always like what they have.  She never brings a snack and always complains she is hungry. My daughter would ask for two of everything so she could share with her friend.  I usually gave in but sometimes wondered why I was feeding someone else's child., who "bought" lunch everyday.

What I didn't know then I know now.  This child doesn't buy lunch - she qualifies for free and reduced lunch.  She doesn't live with a mom & dad like all the other kids but a Grandma who struggles to make ends meet supporting 3 grand kids and visiting two others who don't live with her. She has seen more in her ten years then I probably have seen in my lifetime and it's going to get worse. This little girl has spent the majority of her life with her grandma.  Next month, her mother gets custody back.  A mother who has no job and no place to live. That will take this little girl and her siblings out of the only home they have ever known to live in a shelter.

I am trying so hard not to judge.  A mother should be able to be with her children but at what expense?  Is it selfish to come back for your kids after 6 years? To take them out of the only home they know and put them in a place that will never be permanent? New schools? New friends? I know my daughter will be sad when this friend moves away - and so will I. My daughter will move on - she will make other friends - she will continues to live the good life she has - her friend will go it the opposite direction. My hope & prayer is that she makes it. That she grows up and gets out and becomes somebody.  Right now she is an amazing little girls,  I hope that sticks.

I got to visit my ballerina a camp this weekend.  I was so grateful to see her - to see the opportunity she is able to enjoy.  To see her loving what she is doing.  I miss her so much but I know she is happy so that's enough for me.

I am grateful - for all of it - the good days, the bad days, the ok days because at the end of all those days, I have three children who have a roof over their heads and then some. Three children who have the love of two parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles.  Three children who don't know what it means to go without or to be hungry.  I am grateful.


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