Wednesday, June 17, 2009

PostHeaderIcon Cara: If it's not one kid it's another....

I wonder if it’s as easy as I think it is to have just one kid. I wonder if you are all consumed with that kid all the time. Or do you get days off from worrying when life is going their way?

With three kids it seems there is always one that is on my mind. Thankfully they are all really good kids, do well in school and are from what I can tell well adjusted. (and I suppose I am biased) But there’s always some issue, be it social, hormonal, or emotional. I don’t think there is ever a time when I am like, “ok they are all good right now no one is having an issue.” While their issues in the scheme of life are not earth shattering, they can be to them. This in turn consumes my brain…my heart.

Middle Boy is having the issue this week. He mentioned wanting to try out for football now that he is entering high school. Now while I am not a fan of having my son pummeled I encouraged him, pushed him even. And he is the kind of “fly under the radar” guy who needs a push sometimes. He mentioned the meeting was tomorrow after school. I told him he better be there. Not because I really want him to play but because he probably would forget and just come home after school. He said he was unsure whether or not he would go. I pushed. He got upset. Come to find out that he is not thrilled with the type of kid that plays football. They pick on nerdy kids and think who the hell they are. He doesn’t like that. He wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with the “picked on” kids but he would never be mean like that to anyone. He is friendly with the “pickers”, so they don’t pick on him and the fact that he is the size of a grown man doesn’t hurt either. He thinks they won’t be, let’s say “welcoming” to him if he shows up for that meeting.
(I want to welcome them to my fist at this point) He has decided after tears and pulling teeth to get him to talk he will pursue other sports and activities next year. This is fine. Just do something. Anything. But the killer is that he doesn’t want to “disappoint” me by not doing what I want him to do. (great, now just do a tap dance on my heart… thanks.) I hopefully convinced him he could never disappoint me. He is my shining star. I just never want him to fade into the background with no focus, or drive. I just don’t only want him to be a 21 year old with the highest score on Xbox.

My three kids, alike in a lot of ways, but different in so many more. Each has to be parented in individual ways. Each can turn a regular mood of mine into pure joy or a heavy heart. I wish sometimes we could take their hurt away and make it all better. The older they get the harder that becomes. They learn that mom can’t always fix everything. What’s really difficult is that I have to learn that too.

PS Happy Birthday TP. I love you and when the heck did we become fourty-something?? xoxo

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love this boy and I hope he always has that special soft spot for those less cool. I think he would never "think who he is" because he has SO much else to his credit than just football...that's the difference, most of those football boys have NOTHING else going on.

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