Thursday, February 4, 2010

PostHeaderIcon Jenn: HS Here we come

Tonight I have to go to High School Orientation with my son. That is shocking to me in so many ways. I was looking through his baby pictures yesterday, trying to pick one out for the 8th grade yearbook. It doesn't seem that long ago that he was that little baby. That he was that little toddler with the curly hair and the big blue eyes. That he followed me everywhere. When he was born, I loved him like I never thought I could. With such fierceness and protectiveness and just pure, plain adoration. My life became all about my boy. We spent our time taking walks, playing outside, meeting friends, always together. When he was two his sister was born. We still spent our days together, but I gave him a little less of me because now he had to share. I tried to divide myself. I think I managed successfully. We were living in South Africa at that time so I had help. I could still take him to Gymboree-like classes and art class and pottery class and leave his sister behind. We still had our time.

We moved back to the states when he was 3. Our time together changed abruptly. I went back to work. He no longer had me as a playmate, but babysitters and daycare. I struggled with that. with dropping him and his sister off in a room full of children. A herd. No longer individuals but part of room 4 that ate and slept and went to the bathroom at the same time.

I worked until he was in Kindergarten and then the newest member of our family joined us. He got another little sister even though he was hoping for a brother but at that point he was six so I don't know how much a brother would have changed his life.

I miss that time when it was just the two of us. Now he is going off to High School. That gives me 4 more years of my boy. We spend very little time together now. I am busy ferrying his sisters around. He is busy with friends and school and tennis.

I know he will always be my boy - and I will always be his Mom. I can't help missing that little boy whose life revolved around me and mine around him. Now I have this teenager with clothes on his floor and headphones in his ears going off to High School.... the old adage is true - time does fly.

Cara's two cents: The pic of the boy made me lol...too cute! Does it make you feel better that soon I will have a college student?


Anonymous said...

That post brought tears to my eyes Jenn--my boy is going to MS in Sept!! I wish I could wrap up the love that I felt when my first son was born and give it to him! Then he could open it any time that he was feeling that the younger two are loved "more" than he and feel the depth of the love that I have for him...the child who made my dreams come true! He made me a Mommy! My greatest gift ever!

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