Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Jenn: Oh Sweet Child O' Mine
Posted by
Cara
Lu came home with a note from school yesterday. Though it wasn't a horrible note, it wasn't good either. The teacher basically said she doesn't listen. It also said she doesn't "care" about constructive criticism. His quotes not mine. To be honest, I don't know many 7-year-olds who would "care" about constructive criticism or even know what constructive criticism is for that matter. I think the problem not only lies with my daughter but with her teacher as well.
Lu is not perfect by any means. I see it. She is as good as she can be though. She tries to do the right thing but is not always successful. She is kind and empathetic, very lazy and occasionally doesn't know how to behave in social situations. But she is 7 and she is learning. Her teacher on the other hand is a bit of a perfectionist. His class always has to be number one. They win all the contests. They line up first for lunch. He is teaching them that winning and being first are what matters in second grade. He is a good teacher. The kids love him. Lu's reading is off the charts. He gives them "assessments" (my quotes this time) instead of tests. He is definitely preparing them well for the next grade but he expects a lot in return and sometimes a 7-year-old just can't live up to his expectations. He and I have had our issues, but I do think he wants whats best for the kids - so do I. I think Lu has a big personality and some teachers just don't know what to do with her - sometimes I don't. Her pre-school teachers loved her, her kindergarten teacher not so much - first grade again a love fest and now second grade I am thinking not so much. That is the problem with big personalities - not everyone can compete or appreciate them.
I sat down with Lu, I read her his note, we discussed it. She was very mature about it, didn't cry (her sister would have) said she would try harder. I took TV away for the week. I explained to Lu that her teacher is the boss when she is at school and she has to do everything in her power to follow his rules and live up to his expectations - that included being a better listener and not talking in class. Let's see if the rest of the week brings any more notes, I hope not. You send your kids out into the world and hope that they reflect the best of you ...sometimes that doesn't quite work out!
Cara's two cents: I must say dear friend that I don't agree with the no TV. You know how I feel about Mr. F. I agree that the teacher is the boss. But you know his expectations are let's say less than reachable for a 7 year old. And when a child does not reflect what he wants from his "Stepford Wife" type class they are punished and made to conform. I don't think that is fair. God definitely puts people in your path for a reason. Thankfully he thought it better than to put him in mine....it would have been rough road for us both. Just my two cents...xo
Lu is not perfect by any means. I see it. She is as good as she can be though. She tries to do the right thing but is not always successful. She is kind and empathetic, very lazy and occasionally doesn't know how to behave in social situations. But she is 7 and she is learning. Her teacher on the other hand is a bit of a perfectionist. His class always has to be number one. They win all the contests. They line up first for lunch. He is teaching them that winning and being first are what matters in second grade. He is a good teacher. The kids love him. Lu's reading is off the charts. He gives them "assessments" (my quotes this time) instead of tests. He is definitely preparing them well for the next grade but he expects a lot in return and sometimes a 7-year-old just can't live up to his expectations. He and I have had our issues, but I do think he wants whats best for the kids - so do I. I think Lu has a big personality and some teachers just don't know what to do with her - sometimes I don't. Her pre-school teachers loved her, her kindergarten teacher not so much - first grade again a love fest and now second grade I am thinking not so much. That is the problem with big personalities - not everyone can compete or appreciate them.
I sat down with Lu, I read her his note, we discussed it. She was very mature about it, didn't cry (her sister would have) said she would try harder. I took TV away for the week. I explained to Lu that her teacher is the boss when she is at school and she has to do everything in her power to follow his rules and live up to his expectations - that included being a better listener and not talking in class. Let's see if the rest of the week brings any more notes, I hope not. You send your kids out into the world and hope that they reflect the best of you ...sometimes that doesn't quite work out!
Cara's two cents: I must say dear friend that I don't agree with the no TV. You know how I feel about Mr. F. I agree that the teacher is the boss. But you know his expectations are let's say less than reachable for a 7 year old. And when a child does not reflect what he wants from his "Stepford Wife" type class they are punished and made to conform. I don't think that is fair. God definitely puts people in your path for a reason. Thankfully he thought it better than to put him in mine....it would have been rough road for us both. Just my two cents...xo
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5 comments:
As long as it doesn't upset her, (a note like that would cause my boy to lose it), I think your talk was probably effective enough-unless you've been getting a lot of these notes.
She must be a lot of fun, really, with her personality. I've never heard of a teacher who seriously thought his class had to win everything.haha. And I've seen a lot of teachers.
ps. Hey girls; regarding a comment left yesterday...I do follow you already!!! ba ha ha ha. ;-) xo
OK- not sure if my opinion will be well received or not- but is Mr.F really trying to have her conform or just have her behave properly in class? I got a note home last week about Timmy talking too much in class. I told him to cut out the talking. I think at 7 they should be able to learn to zip it. But maybe Mr. F is going beyond this and I'm not seeing it.
No worries though Jenn- I use to get in trouble for talking when I was younger too and look how great I turned out!!!:)
A little trouble is a good thing...I think children who push it a bit are the ones that succeed later on...besides we are talking about a 7th grade teacher...You go Lu Lu create sleepless nights for Mr. F...better yet grab his shirt with some paint on your hands watch him lose it...as for punishment if a child is being disrespectful its one thing, but not conforming to him is another..Funny thing is in life we decide who we want to conform to or with, it is not put upon us as it is in our early years...Take it from someone who was in trouble everyday in school when I was younger, Yet I always was tops in my school in grades, I didn't want to do it the teachers way it was always to slow...my mom knew that punishing me would have no effect, I was not gonna change and the more the teacher pushed me the more trouble I created...my desk was always next to the teachers...T.P. the non-conformer
Funny thing...I got a note home from my son's teacher saying that he too had been a little chatty recently. I spoke to him about it in the morning before he left for school. His eyes filled w/ tears, he was disappointed in himself. He left for school w/o much conversation. He never tried to make excuses for himself. After he left, I found an "award" that he had been given for helping and cooperating in the school cafeteria--he had been using it as a bookmark! My belief is that as kids they will have days when they shine and others when they just don't. In life it seems we need the clouds to really appreciate the sunshine. I hugged him when he came home and he said "I tried harder today!" I do believe that he did! xo Mommy to a 2nd grader too (guess who!)
not sure who anonymous (above) is but what I want to know do all the 2nd grade teachers decide to send home notes in February? Seriously.
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