Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Cara: Deflated
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Cara 
That's how I'm feeling. Tired, brain overloaded, Aunt Flo visiting...I don't know. Deflated.That's the only word that came to mind when I thought about how I felt.
Why is it that sometimes when all the things that you teach your kids...work hard, do the right thing and you will do well, goes and bites them in the butt. They expect others to do the right thing too,especially adults. So very often I am sad to report, they don't. That makes me feel well, deflated. So what do you do? Do you teach your kids to be selfish? Screw everyone else and just worry about themselves? Do you tell them to stop jumping in with both feet, sleeves rolled up ready to get the job done, because they will only get a kick in the ass for it? I guess you can't when you do the same thing yourself. It's very discouraging for them and me too for that matter to see people who really are completely self centered have an easy time of it all the time.
All I could come up with today was to show my support. My unfaltering "Mama Lion" stance. But you can only tell a kid to take the high road or do the right thing so many times before you start not to believe it either. I wanted to tell her to tell them to F-off. Of course I didn't. "It's always harder to do what's right" I tell them. I hate hearing myself say that too sometimes. It's just that sometimes, it seems (more often than not lately) doing the right thing ain't all that it's cracked up to be.
After 17 years of parenting I would have thought I'd have all the answers to every foreseeable problem. But seems you never do. Each kid coming up always brings along a new set of issues and situations to figure out. Sometimes you are left scratching your head at what the right thing is to do or what words of wisdom to bestow. Sometimes you get it so right. For example when Mike and I walked into the store in the middle of a monsoon rain. A little, old, pretty dirty lady stood in the vestibule.I could see Mike got a little afraid cause he got real close to me. She asked me for some change. I gave her some cash. (I usually just have my debit card on me) When she left, Mike said "Mom, that was very kind. That lady was scary and you made her smile. I am very proud of you right now." Score for Mom that time anyway.
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3 comments:
I feel for you! Its a sad day when you have to pick your child up and dust them off and not be able to fix it. All you want to do is go punch whoever caused their pain. I can't believe that kids have to learn the lesson "life is not fair" already. Seems like such a shame. Give Diva a big hug for me!!
I think all of these things, no matter what they are, make us stronger. I'm not a parent, just a stepparent, but I was a child once and I know that many of the adversities I suffered, even the unfair things, somehow worked to make me the person I am today.
i so feel you. i was out of town for the week with a makeup client. only worked an hour a day, had a rental car, a perdium and a city to explore... i stayed in bed in my hotel room... wth? i felt exactly as you explain, including aunt flo!!
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