We often tell our boys "Be a man!" Sometimes we are teasing but sometimes we are not. Like when Jr. needed to call the guy that got him an "in" as a caddy on the country club golf course. Having to make that phone call was completely stepping out of the box for a shy kind of guy but he did it. He lived. He learned that a man needs to take care of things like that himself. Like when Mike is taught to treat girls with respect and made his Mommy proud as I watched him walk into school with his best "girl that is a friend" and hold open the door and let her go first, like a man. Being a man is not just being "tough" it's so much more.  It really irks me when I see a grown man not acting like one, especially when he has young sons who need to be lead by example.

Men don't walk out. Men don't flaunt their new found freedom in front of the whole town, giving fodder for talk. Men don't need a new woman to make him walk with his feathers puffed up at the expense of his children. Men don't quit when the going gets tough.

Real men put their family first. Real men work hard to make their families lives comfortable. Real men don't bash their wives when they are out with the guys. Real men coach sports that take up their whole weekends all the while molding the little boys, even the ones that aren't their own, how to be sportsmanlike but tough or gentlemanly like and fierce. Real men admit when they are wrong. Real men lead by example.

And thank heaven that even if a boy doesn't have the constant shining example on how to be a man in his life, he has his mom. Moms can be both. She can show a boy how to be dependable and there, "present" for those that depend on him. She can show him that sometimes other people need to come first, and it's not all about him. She can show him how it's possible to be tough but love deeply.  And when he grows up and is the great man that he will become, that's all the thanks she will ever need.