Monday, August 23, 2010
Cara: 3 C's - Compliments
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Cara I have mentioned before one of my favorite all time books is Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
I have read and reread this book so many times over the last 10 years. And so many times I had have come away with new things to use in my life. Feeling a little "postless" last night I thought I would thumb through it to see if I could come across something to spark my brain. And as always it didn't disappoint.
So today's topic is Compliments. How do you take a compliment? At first I thought...I can take them well. I like them...duh. But as I think more I realize maybe I don't take them too well. If I think back on some compliments I have received lately (and I am not saying that I am bombarded all the time) I don't think I take them very well.
Someone says "You look nice today." I try not to say the usual..."oh this old thing?" I say thank you...but I still think in my head..."Really? Ew I don't really like this shirt it makes me feel fat."
Someone says "Did you get your hair cut? It looks nice" I say "Yeah, I needed a haircut I was so overdue....blah blah blah."
Why do I do that? Why do women do that? Why does it seem so difficult most times to just accept a compliment and be happy about it. Even if we are happy about it, why do words come out of our mouth to diminish the compliment? Is it that we think people aren't sincere? Or is it that we think we aren't deserving? I would hate to think that deep down I feel I don't deserve a compliment. I can say that I do not like serial "complimenters". ( I know it's not a word grammar police...easy) Do you know someone like that? Every time they see you they compliment your hair, your clothes, your shoes. Ugh. They are annoying. You know they don't really mean it, it's just a conversation starter. But now and again when we get that sincere compliment we can't just poo-poo it. We should take it, say thank you and be happy.
This week if I am lucky enough to get a compliment I am going to say thank you and mean it. And I am going to try not to negate it in my head. And I am going to make an effort to give a compliment too. I do not give them lightly just as I don't like to get them lightly. When I give one I mean it.
I hope you get one this week too. Take it, say thank you and happily be on your way.
I have read and reread this book so many times over the last 10 years. And so many times I had have come away with new things to use in my life. Feeling a little "postless" last night I thought I would thumb through it to see if I could come across something to spark my brain. And as always it didn't disappoint.
So today's topic is Compliments. How do you take a compliment? At first I thought...I can take them well. I like them...duh. But as I think more I realize maybe I don't take them too well. If I think back on some compliments I have received lately (and I am not saying that I am bombarded all the time) I don't think I take them very well.
Someone says "You look nice today." I try not to say the usual..."oh this old thing?" I say thank you...but I still think in my head..."Really? Ew I don't really like this shirt it makes me feel fat."
Someone says "Did you get your hair cut? It looks nice" I say "Yeah, I needed a haircut I was so overdue....blah blah blah."
Why do I do that? Why do women do that? Why does it seem so difficult most times to just accept a compliment and be happy about it. Even if we are happy about it, why do words come out of our mouth to diminish the compliment? Is it that we think people aren't sincere? Or is it that we think we aren't deserving? I would hate to think that deep down I feel I don't deserve a compliment. I can say that I do not like serial "complimenters". ( I know it's not a word grammar police...easy) Do you know someone like that? Every time they see you they compliment your hair, your clothes, your shoes. Ugh. They are annoying. You know they don't really mean it, it's just a conversation starter. But now and again when we get that sincere compliment we can't just poo-poo it. We should take it, say thank you and be happy.
This week if I am lucky enough to get a compliment I am going to say thank you and mean it. And I am going to try not to negate it in my head. And I am going to make an effort to give a compliment too. I do not give them lightly just as I don't like to get them lightly. When I give one I mean it.
I hope you get one this week too. Take it, say thank you and happily be on your way.
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1 comments:
Compliments can be hard to take, can't they? I've never delved deeply into it but I think I tend to mumble thanks and change the subject because I just don't like the attention focused on me.
Thanks for the tip, I have a new book to add to my B&N list this week...
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