Saturday, October 23, 2010

PostHeaderIcon Jenn: Girls

Yesterday I got a phone call from my daughter's ballet teacher.  Apparently she said something in class to another dancer that hurt her feelings.  The other girl went home and told her mother who called the ballet teacher and told her about the incident.  Then the ballet teacher called me. 

The ballet teacher told me she thought the other girl must have misunderstood what Mae said.  She told me she is the politest, nicest, young lady in the class. She told me she has never shown anyone anything but kindness and didn't know where this other girl was coming from.  Having said all that, she still wanted me to know there was a problem with another child.  She wouldn't tell me which child or exactly what was said.  She asked me to speak to my daughter to find out what the problem was. 

After hanging up the phone, I got mad.  I am friends with all the moms.  Why wouldn't they just approach me and tell me what was going on?  Am I that scary? Did they think I would react badly? If someone tells me my child said something, it would start a conversation that we could all be part of.  Maybe it was just  a misunderstanding - maybe my daughter was being sarcastic or maybe even mean.  Here is the thing though, we won't find out.  I decided I am not going to talk to her about it.  In general terms I asked if everything was okay in class - any problems? She told me everything was great - why would there be any problems?

These girls are 12 years old.  I would think by that age, you should be able to talk amongst yourselves and not going running home to Mommy.  As for the moms, now  I am suspicious of everyone of them - who called and ratted out my daughter?  Why couldn't you just say something to me directly?  I will start distancing myself from all of them - and get less involved in the whole ballet mom thing - because I don't need bullshit in my life. 

Today is the big ballet competition - so I will be with the moms all day.  Wonder which one won't be able to look me in the eye?  Maybe I will just walk up to each one and ask is there a problem with Mae - or maybe I won't and just let them sweat it out. 

If this were boys we were talking about, nothing would ever had been said.  The offended boy would have punched my son and called it a day, running off to be best friends again.  Why are girls so dramatic? 

Cara's two cents: Funny when I started reading your post I was thinking it was the teacher that said something to a kid and she was doing damage control for herself. Didn't think for a minute it was Mae, which is a testament to what kind of girl she is right there. They are 12 years old they need to start working things out on their own. And that mother that went to the teacher and not you...well, I am sure you know my feelings on that. I wish I wasn't busy today or I would come with you and give them all my death stare. I will try to send it telepathically for you. Good luck. I think you did the right thing. No need to make Mae off her game today with competition. Wondering though if that was the plan all along? Hmmmm.....

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