Monday, February 21, 2011
Cara:Wishing the days away...
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Cara Last night we started putting video tapes from the video camera on to CD's. It's one of those things we have always intended to do but never get around to. It was a perfect do nothing weekend to get it started.
You get so caught up in doing it that hours go by. We watched concerts, the Diva's first school solo, Christmas mornings gone by, birthday parties...the things we all video tape. It's bittersweet to watch some of it.
Things like the Christmas Eve with so many crazy family members there laughing, singing...and now some have passed, some are sick so they don't get up and sing Christmas carols and some no longer speak.
Video of my big strapping teenage boy, with a little squeaky voice I didn't recognize. My 8 year old as a baby...chubby, cute as sweet as can be. Seemed like ages ago....
I can remember feeling overwhelmed those days. Three kids...my "big" ones who now, as I look at them in the videos were not big at all. Some days it was really hard juggling a baby and two other kids who had homework, activities etc. of their own. Some days I remember thinking when Mike is bigger it will so much easier, when they can drive themselves places it will be better, when everyone is in school full time I will finally have time to myself. If I can just move from this small house it would be so much better.
Well, as you can guess all these thing did come about...they usually do whether you like it or not. And in some ways life got easier...I did get some more time for myself, sure.
But that back yard with the above ground pool full of kids at the 5th grade graduation party, looked pretty nice in the video. The house, though it was much smaller than what we have now, looked warm and comfy. It looked like a nice family lived there. It looked like a place I would like to visit now and sit and have a cup of tea.
Back then, some days it was just the house on the wrong side of the tracks, with bedrooms that were too small. How silly that seems now. Thank goodness that time gone by at least gives you a better perspective on things.
Watching those videos reminded me not to wish the days away. Granted, some days are bad. But what I mean are the regular days. Regular days filled with errands, making dinner, doing laundry....sometimes things get better. But if you spend the regular days waiting for tomorrow you miss out on a lot.
I can't get back that pretty little house across from the woods, that little boy with the squeaky voice, that nervous 12 year old singing on the Middle School stage, or that chubby fisted baby. But I can remember how lucky I was to have them.
I can remember to be grateful for the home I have now and not only see what still needs to be "done". I can be proud of this happy go lucky teenage boy I have, who still smiles when he sees me. I can cherish the months I have left with my girl, before things change and she is off on her own. I can remember how lucky I am to have a little guy in the house who still thinks I am the best thing since sliced bread. I can remember not to wish the days away.
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7 comments:
The "sacred day-to-day"....Amen.
I am going through some of the exact same feelings as my oldest is finishing high school and going off to college. Love your blog. I'm now a follower. you can check my blog out if you want at http://www.fortyandtryingtobefab.blogspot.com
So you used to live in a small house and now you moved into a bigger house on the right side of the tracks. Your daughter is a diva and your teenage son is still loving towards you. Your little son still puts you on a pedestal. You cook, clean and run errands for a living. You sound pretty enthralled with yourself. There is no such thing as the perfect life so you can stop trying to convince the world you have one. That 30 day challenge was "all about you". What makes you think people are THAT interested Your life? Martha Stewart would be sooooooooo impressed with your Valentine's Day table but I find your need to post it on Facebook hard to stomach.
Dear anonymous,
My first thought after reading your petty comment towards my mother, is that you must not know what it's like to have a family, and if you do, then you must be one lousy parent if you believe that doing things such as "Valentines Day Red Dinner" is a way to show off, rather than keep a family with very different ages close together. I'm 18 years old, and would rather sit home and have dinner with my family, that my mother so carefuly put together for us, then go out with my friends. As far as your comments towards my family, yes, I am a "diva", would you like me to post a video? You can then see how "perfectly" I sang the other night, and how "perfectly" my mother sobbed as I sang, because I'll be leaving her in 4 months. Does that seem perfect? Because we have ups and downs as a family, that you wouldn't even begin to understand. My 15 year old brother still wants to be around his mother, because of the type of person she is, not the dinner she makes. My 8 year old brother is great athlete, student, and is pretty damn funny if you ask me. And as far as her "running errands for a living", she had a great job, with an equally great salary, and gave it up to stay home and be our class moms, and be there for us. Are you jealous because you weren't at your kids holiday parties? Cause thats what I'm getting from you. We by NO MEANS have a perfect life, but it is perfect in my mind. My family is together, my parents are the only ones out of my friends who still love eachother, my brothers are turning out to be great men, and my mother is the strongest, and most involved person in my life. So anonymous, if you care to chat more with us about how you think we're such a "perfect" family.. please do. I'll be glad to tell you all the wonderful things my mom does for us on a regular basis, that you don't see, by stalking her on here and facebook. You're comment has done nothing but confirm that people would kill to have the type of family we have... maybe you should think about taking a few pointers from her, before being so quick to judge.
My Dear,
You have a writing style so much like you mother's. How adorable. I did see you sing and yes you were very good. I have a very close family with much of the same type activities that other families do. I don't brag about it on the internet because I do not have the need to prove to anyone how wonderful I am. Many of us find her postings entertaining and I hope she keeps them coming.
Apparently wonderful yet still anonymous. Seems that Diva has struck a nerve with you Anonymous. You are quite sad. Your anonymouse posts won't have stage on this blog any longer. Meet me on FB if you have someting to say. But I think my friends have pretty much put you in your place & called you out. I am sorry for you. I hope your miserable life gets better. We will just keep plugging along here in Perfectland and I hope someday you find your happy place and can stop being jealous of others...green really is not your color.
Cara...I just read this post, the one that provoked "anonymous", and I am dumbfounded. Your post was not the least bit boastful. Rather, put tears in my eyes because it is just real. With 3 kids of my own, a house that has "grown" literally and figuratively in the past few years, and a very busy life...I can look at old pix or videos and feel that same ache we mothers get in the pit of our stomach when we look back. Admittedly, I sometimes spend too much time looking ahead. Thank you for the reminder to stop and just take it all in. Look in my little girls big eyes, listen to her endless chatter. Laugh with my boys, admire how they are growing in all of their relationships and interests. Growing up. Sometimes we need a reminder to open ourselves up...to breathe in these moments. They do fly by! As always, thanks for keeping it real!!!
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