Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts
Monday, February 27, 2012
Cara: O' Beautiful...
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Cara 
This time last week I was on a coach bus on my way to the Grand Canyon. I don't think anything you could have heard about it or the many pictures you have ever seen can prepare you for the awesomeness of it. I am terrified of heights. So the GC probably was not the best place for me to go, but it's something I think everyone should see if given the chance. I know my boys thought it was amazing. Once I got over (kinda) my initial fear (for some reason I thought there were railings...) I could take it all in.
Although I was not nearly as brave as "my men" I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to get as close to "the edge" as I could. I refused to let my fear rob me of my chance to see something amazing.
I was in the process of giving myself a "time out" last week as I often advise to do. (trying to take a little of my own advice for a change) Time out from the "noise", from the nonsense. Time out to remember who I am and what I think, without let's say outside influences. Traveling 2000+ miles is as good a way as any to accomplish that. Mayberry is a speck in relation to the Grand Canyon to say the least.
One good thing for me about writing a blog is the that it reminds me to take notice. Stop and look around if not only for something to blog about, not that you could help to stop and look around while climbing around the Grand Canyon.
Besides the great experience, awesome pictures and family time, I had a chance to really think while I sat (very firmly) on the that rock that let me nervously comfortably see the Colorado River that ran 4000 feet below me.
What I really took from the Grand Canyon was:
* As always I learn from my children. When you get an experience, get the most out of it. Climb to the highest point you can so you don't miss a thing. Don't let fear hold you back.
* There's so much more out there than the "bubble" I live in.
* Something that can make you feel so small at the same time can make you feel so filled with wonder and amazement.
* When you get an opportunity to be, take it. Listen to that voice that tells you to slow down. Let the "quiet" in, it can speak volumes.
This is a Joshua Tree. Nothing like any tree I have in my yard here in Mayberry that's for sure. Every branch on the tree signifies 10 years. Some of these trees are 200+ years old, the oldest one on record was 1000 years old! They just stand there in the desert and grow. I don't know if you would say they were beautiful, maybe. But they don't care. They grow forever, in the arid, dry boiling hot desert. In the midst of war, economic messes, crime in a world that sometimes seems to be going to hell in hand basket, there in the Mojave Desert they "bloom where they are planted". They don't care if it's hot as hell during the day or cold as all get out at night. They don't care if they aren't as beautiful as a maple tree in Autumn. They are Joshua Trees and they are supposed to grow where they do and look how they do. Steady, without listening to the "noise" around them. One can learn a lot from a tree.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Cara: I'm not really done...
Lately I have been saying I am done. People disappoint me and I think "I am done". I go about a situation with good intentions, be it in my own way, and I get what's the equivalent of a kick in my back side. Pity party? Not likely, that's really not my style. It's probably a combination of winter blues (vitamin D and all), cabin fever and recent events. But as I always say, God whispers in your ear and then when you don't listen he bonks you on the head. This week I got bonked on my head.
Moving through my week, of kids home from school on winter break being a little grumbly about not being somewhere warm and beach like I was getting a little, not cranky but I would say just blah.
Then top off the mood with someone coming out of left field trying to cut me down to size, when I really didn't ask for it. It didn't really hurt me as much as annoyed me. And in my usual style I came back at them with guns a blazin'.
And even though I like the way I handled it, made me think for a bit the heck with putting myself out there. What's the point? Why do I do it? I share ideas with people they think I am bragging. (which, if you know me or have even read this blog before you know it's something I loathe. I am not even comfortable bragging when it's OK... like if my kids' doing something great) I go out of my way to help someone feel better about crappy stuff going on in their lives only to have them throw me under the bus at their first opportunity, because it will make them feel better, even if I am now road kill.
But then God bonked me on my head. My friends and family came to my defense. I am not one that usually needs any type of defending. But these people felt they needed to be heard, and to let me hear it. I won't nauseate you with the things they said about me...but they were overwhelming to me to say the least.
It made me remember...to have Red Dinner on Valentine's Day even if it's a Tuesday and I am not really in the mood. This is the family I have created...and it's kinda pretty great "What you spend years building can be destroyed overnight. Build anyway."
Run to your friends' defense even if they might without meaning to hurt you, throw it in your face. "The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway"
Even if a person is rough on the outside stop for a minute and think why and maybe give them a chance. "People can be unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered, love them anyway".
Write your blog and even though there will be naysayers "Little people will try to shoot down your big ideas. Think big anyway"
"Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth. Give the world - and especially the people around you - your best anyway."
When I put my head down on my pillow at night, I may not always be able to say I gave the world my best today. Most days I can. Most days I try real hard and sometimes it works and sometimes I fail. I learned a lot this week about myself and the people I surround myself with. It has all made me look at things a little differently, a little more clearly. A bonk on the head can do that to a girl.
Jenn's two cents: Bonked on the head, thrown under a bus, it's been a rough week for you Cara. Hoping for some sunshine this week so we can get out there and replenish your vitamin D.
I'm right behind you sista. ~Cara
Moving through my week, of kids home from school on winter break being a little grumbly about not being somewhere warm and beach like I was getting a little, not cranky but I would say just blah.
Then top off the mood with someone coming out of left field trying to cut me down to size, when I really didn't ask for it. It didn't really hurt me as much as annoyed me. And in my usual style I came back at them with guns a blazin'.
And even though I like the way I handled it, made me think for a bit the heck with putting myself out there. What's the point? Why do I do it? I share ideas with people they think I am bragging. (which, if you know me or have even read this blog before you know it's something I loathe. I am not even comfortable bragging when it's OK... like if my kids' doing something great) I go out of my way to help someone feel better about crappy stuff going on in their lives only to have them throw me under the bus at their first opportunity, because it will make them feel better, even if I am now road kill.
But then God bonked me on my head. My friends and family came to my defense. I am not one that usually needs any type of defending. But these people felt they needed to be heard, and to let me hear it. I won't nauseate you with the things they said about me...but they were overwhelming to me to say the least.
It made me remember...to have Red Dinner on Valentine's Day even if it's a Tuesday and I am not really in the mood. This is the family I have created...and it's kinda pretty great "What you spend years building can be destroyed overnight. Build anyway."
Run to your friends' defense even if they might without meaning to hurt you, throw it in your face. "The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway"
Even if a person is rough on the outside stop for a minute and think why and maybe give them a chance. "People can be unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered, love them anyway".
Write your blog and even though there will be naysayers "Little people will try to shoot down your big ideas. Think big anyway"
"Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth. Give the world - and especially the people around you - your best anyway."
When I put my head down on my pillow at night, I may not always be able to say I gave the world my best today. Most days I can. Most days I try real hard and sometimes it works and sometimes I fail. I learned a lot this week about myself and the people I surround myself with. It has all made me look at things a little differently, a little more clearly. A bonk on the head can do that to a girl.
Jenn's two cents: Bonked on the head, thrown under a bus, it's been a rough week for you Cara. Hoping for some sunshine this week so we can get out there and replenish your vitamin D.
I'm right behind you sista. ~Cara
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Jenn: Home Sweet Home
A girl goes away for six days and all hell breaks loose! I have to thank Cara for covering for me while I was in Florida enjoying 80 degree weather and the company of a particular mouse. It's always so nice to go away but for me the best part of vacation is coming home.
I was able to follow the blog from my iphone and I have to say - I was surprised at all the attention generated this week. Cara and I put ourselves out there and sometimes it comes back to bite us - as it did Cara this week. But we keep on truckin'. Why? Some days I don't know. Other days I have a lot to say. We are all on this journey together and it's nice to see that someone across the street or country or world is having the same issue. I read a lot of blogs. Some on decorating, some on cooking and some on just others people's lives. It's like reading a book. It takes you away from your day-to-day and let's you visit someone else. Sometimes when I am reading someone else's blog I am inspired, sometimes awe struck and sometimes not so interested. The not interesting ones I don't go back to. We had a lot of comments this week but today Moongate, a fellow blogger, left a great comment I want to share. It gives you something to think about - thanks MoonGate!
People can be unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered, love them anyway.
When you do the right thing, some people will accuse you of a "holier than thou motive". Do the right thing anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
Honesty and integrity will make you unlovable. Be honest anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Little people will try to shoot down your big ideas. Think big anyway.
What you spend years building can be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth. Give the world - and especially the people around you - your best anyway.
Cara's two cents: I too have things taped to the insides of cabinets...dieting reminders, garbage schedules. handy dandy kitchen tricks...(maybe not baby schedules....hmmm I do have them though just not in my cabinets lol) But I was so struck by those words last night it will take today for me to process (have had a lot to process the past 48 hours) but those words are so true and really they describe me and my journey in a nutshell. Like I said yesterday I love to learn from other people. This will get taped where I can remember to read it, that's for sure. Again it's what our blog is all about. Thanks Moongate for being my inspiration today.
I was able to follow the blog from my iphone and I have to say - I was surprised at all the attention generated this week. Cara and I put ourselves out there and sometimes it comes back to bite us - as it did Cara this week. But we keep on truckin'. Why? Some days I don't know. Other days I have a lot to say. We are all on this journey together and it's nice to see that someone across the street or country or world is having the same issue. I read a lot of blogs. Some on decorating, some on cooking and some on just others people's lives. It's like reading a book. It takes you away from your day-to-day and let's you visit someone else. Sometimes when I am reading someone else's blog I am inspired, sometimes awe struck and sometimes not so interested. The not interesting ones I don't go back to. We had a lot of comments this week but today Moongate, a fellow blogger, left a great comment I want to share. It gives you something to think about - thanks MoonGate!
Do Good Anyway
People can be unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered, love them anyway.
When you do the right thing, some people will accuse you of a "holier than thou motive". Do the right thing anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
Honesty and integrity will make you unlovable. Be honest anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Little people will try to shoot down your big ideas. Think big anyway.
What you spend years building can be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth. Give the world - and especially the people around you - your best anyway.
Cara's two cents: I too have things taped to the insides of cabinets...dieting reminders, garbage schedules. handy dandy kitchen tricks...(maybe not baby schedules....hmmm I do have them though just not in my cabinets lol) But I was so struck by those words last night it will take today for me to process (have had a lot to process the past 48 hours) but those words are so true and really they describe me and my journey in a nutshell. Like I said yesterday I love to learn from other people. This will get taped where I can remember to read it, that's for sure. Again it's what our blog is all about. Thanks Moongate for being my inspiration today.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Cara: Thoughts on things
Truth be told, some many experiences, good or bad provide fodder for blogging. Some days the writing floods my brain and I can't type fast enough. Others I am stuck. Not today. So are here are some of my thoughts on some of the things in my head...
Mediocrity attacks excellence. So true I think. We probably have all been guilty of that once or twice. Maybe we were feeling not really up to par and maybe cutting someone else down to made ourselves feel better and we were probably much younger then. I would like to think I am at a place where I make myself feel better by doing better or being better. Not by knocking someone else down. Actually I know I am. I don't move ahead by stepping on people. I usually drag the people I love along with me. So as long as you are trying to be good, do the right thing, take care of the people you love then you are striving for your excellence. Mediocre people don't like that and they will always try to knock you down. Don't let them.
Surround yourself with people who hold you up and do the same in return. It really does matter. Recently when someone tried to knock me down I was overwhelmed at who ran to hold me up. At first I was surprised. But then I thought what are you surprised about? These are all good people, people with principles, people who celebrate others' accomplishments and can be happy for someone else. What else would I expect? One good thing about being a grown-up is you get to "play" with who you want. You get to choose. Apparently I choose very well. And I would do the same for all of them as well.
Some days lessons are learned. Yesterday I learned that I really can block out the noise. I am truly comfortable most days in my own skin. You can make lemonade outta lemons. When you treat people right it does come back to you.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Cara:Wishing the days away...
Last night we started putting video tapes from the video camera on to CD's. It's one of those things we have always intended to do but never get around to. It was a perfect do nothing weekend to get it started.
You get so caught up in doing it that hours go by. We watched concerts, the Diva's first school solo, Christmas mornings gone by, birthday parties...the things we all video tape. It's bittersweet to watch some of it.
Things like the Christmas Eve with so many crazy family members there laughing, singing...and now some have passed, some are sick so they don't get up and sing Christmas carols and some no longer speak.
Video of my big strapping teenage boy, with a little squeaky voice I didn't recognize. My 8 year old as a baby...chubby, cute as sweet as can be. Seemed like ages ago....
I can remember feeling overwhelmed those days. Three kids...my "big" ones who now, as I look at them in the videos were not big at all. Some days it was really hard juggling a baby and two other kids who had homework, activities etc. of their own. Some days I remember thinking when Mike is bigger it will so much easier, when they can drive themselves places it will be better, when everyone is in school full time I will finally have time to myself. If I can just move from this small house it would be so much better.
Well, as you can guess all these thing did come about...they usually do whether you like it or not. And in some ways life got easier...I did get some more time for myself, sure.
But that back yard with the above ground pool full of kids at the 5th grade graduation party, looked pretty nice in the video. The house, though it was much smaller than what we have now, looked warm and comfy. It looked like a nice family lived there. It looked like a place I would like to visit now and sit and have a cup of tea.
Back then, some days it was just the house on the wrong side of the tracks, with bedrooms that were too small. How silly that seems now. Thank goodness that time gone by at least gives you a better perspective on things.
Watching those videos reminded me not to wish the days away. Granted, some days are bad. But what I mean are the regular days. Regular days filled with errands, making dinner, doing laundry....sometimes things get better. But if you spend the regular days waiting for tomorrow you miss out on a lot.
I can't get back that pretty little house across from the woods, that little boy with the squeaky voice, that nervous 12 year old singing on the Middle School stage, or that chubby fisted baby. But I can remember how lucky I was to have them.
I can remember to be grateful for the home I have now and not only see what still needs to be "done". I can be proud of this happy go lucky teenage boy I have, who still smiles when he sees me. I can cherish the months I have left with my girl, before things change and she is off on her own. I can remember how lucky I am to have a little guy in the house who still thinks I am the best thing since sliced bread. I can remember not to wish the days away.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Cara: Life Lessons
"When people show you who they are believe them the first time"
~Maya Angelou
This is one of my favorite quotes, life lessons, words of wisdom whatever you want to call it. I tell my kids this all the time. Because like me, a lot of times they see people for what they wish they were...not really who they are. Then they are blindsided when they do something hurtful. Like I said a few days ago...no resolutions just looking at things differently. But as I reread these words I really started to think I need to put my money where my mouth is.
I need to stop just giving my kids my "pearls of wisdom" but remind myself of them as well.
When I think about people in my life or people who have come and gone out of my life...I can usually say they showed me who they were pretty much right away.
Be it life long friend who always had my back, or soul mate right from the beginning. Or times when someone showed me who they were and I didn't like it so I made excuses for them. Excuses for me...to keep them in my life because I thought I could change them, or I needed to understand them better or make them understand me better.
When I have been blindsided and they turn out not to be the person I thought they were...if I really think...I will remember. I will remember when they showed me who they were and how I chose to ignore it.
I can even think of people who showed me they were someone I would really like. But I let other people's opinions blind me into thinking they weren't for me. So in my head I turned them into someone I wouldn't like. Then I was slapped upside the head with an unexpected friendship and realized they didn't change. I just didn't believe them when they showed me who they were.
It's a tough realization for me when it comes to some people. When you want things to be a certain way and they are not, its tough to come clean with yourself. But I am all about keeping it real. So from now on when someone shows me who they are I will believe them the first time, even if I don't want to.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Cara:Live from the Center Ring....
...my life. Yes it's a three ring circus most days. I pretty much always look like that chick pictured above. "Here I am...I am doing it all!!" But inside I'm thinking..."Holy Crap! If one of this elephants slips I am in BIG trouble!!"
I gotta take a moment to catch my breath today. It's probably not going to be a day to sit for an hour and just be, like I said I would like to do everyday. But it's OK.
For some reason I am surprisingly OK with all of it and dare I say grateful for all this stuff going on. I may actually have taken my own advice for once, instead of freaking out and complaining about all I have to do. Which is what we moms do to each other. And that's only because we are the only ones who understand.
So while baking Italian cookies for "International Day" at school and my first thought being WHY WHY WHY??? in June? Could we have not done this in boring February or March? I changed my thought process to: Mike loves these cookies and is so excited to bring them in. And he was even more thrilled when we brought home an empty tray, his pals loved them too!
While FREAKING out about hosting a birthday party for 21 in Guam and having to be at a last minute scheduled lacrosse game in China fifteen minutes after, (and half the team is at said party...) this all right after unnecessary International Feast Day, I took a breath. It's all good stuff. I am home to do it all. I am organized. Mike is thrilled to have so much fun stuff to do all in a matter of 6 hours. We did it... kids loved cookies, party was a BLAST, and won the lacrosse game.
So it's all NUTS. It's truly a three ring circus. But it's my circus and like it or not I am the Ring Leader. Most days I like it. (I am bossy) Some days I want to run away and join the circus. Wait no! I live in the circus. Oh well...guess I am where I am supposed to be. But I still hate clowns.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Cara: Unsolicited advice
So we have this guy that walks around Mayberry Main Street. He is unstable, to be politically correct. He walks all over town up and down muttering to himself and occasionally to passersby.
A few weeks ago as a friend and I were crossing the street, he yelled out "I have a stomach virus and I don't even care, I will just stay in bed all day!!!" Friend and I said to each other "yeah well we would have to still get up with the kids and do this and that blah blah blah". Funny thing, that day my stomach was bothering me for whatever reason but there I was running all over the world doing errands. He had a point.
Last week, while running out of Starbucks he shouted out "wipe that face off it's Wednesday!"
Really? He wasn't looking at me, kinda just looking up. I laughed to myself, wondering if I was walking around with a grumpy face on. Someone I know, tells me to "smell a rose" when I have my grumpy face on. (it relaxes your face...go ahead try it...I'll wait. See it works!)
Yesterday while waiting at the light on Main street with my windows down, you know who comes strolling by. Today he shrieks "It's a Shining Sun day what is the problem?" Again not looking directly at me. My first reaction was to finally tell him to just shut the hell up already. I had never heard this man's voice until these past three times, although I have seen him in town for years. But then I realized it was a Sunshine Day (cue the Brady Bunch...) and I was in a bad mood. The whole world was getting on my nerves (couldn't be me right?) and one of my kids was having an issue (since resolved...thanks for asking) which in turn robs me of a night's sleep or the sense to revel in the Sunshine Day.
So maybe Town Crazy had a point. Maybe "someone" was trying to tell me something and figured maybe I would listen to him.
Lessons are learned everyday even in the strangest of ways.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Cara: Home Sweet Home
We are on our way back from our vacation at the moment. We will have the "discussion" about driving straight or stopping overnight to sleep. I opt for sleeping. The driver opts for driving. Although like I said in the beginning I didn't vote for the driving..it wasn't as bad as I thought. (well, going anyway....we will see what I think by the time I pull in my driveway) Kids kept themselves occupied most of the time. It's not like when we were kids and had to play license plate bingo for 13 hours straight. We did play some of those games...but mostly they typed on their laptops, listened to iPods, watched movies or slept. So not so bad for them. Going on vacation is great...but when it's time to come home...its time to come home.
As tempting as it is there in the Sunshine State with their warm weather, new CHEAP homes and low utility bills...my home is my home. There is good with the bad no matter where you live. I do despise the winter. When I get home I am hoping the monsoons will be gone and Spring has sprung. I left to just blooming daffodils...maybe my tulips will have popped their heads out of the soil too. My house is there. My friends are there. My life is there. When I first got to SunnyLand I was thinking I will just move...pack it all up and start over there. I will have tons of money in the bank, a killer tan and a brand new house. But that would be it. And all those things don't amount to a hill of beans compared to what I have at home. So a few things I have learned on this vacation are:
~ I adore Walt Disney World. So many people ask me why the heck we always go there. I know some of the rides are hokey. I am still singing "It's a Small World" in my head. It's just a feeling I get when I am there. I can forget what's going on outside "The World"....Hakuna-Matata
~ No one I mean NO ONE....looks attractive eating a turkey leg.
~Gardening is another obsession. Looking at all the flowers already blooming in Florida made me die to get my hands in the dirt.
~My family are really my favorite people. They make me laugh...as much as they drive me nuts.
~As much as I love the above mentioned...I cannot make them all happy at once. And after this vacation I think I am done trying. We are five. Five different people at different stages of life...and there's gonna be times when someone is not getting what they want or getting their way. And it doesn't always have to be me.
~As much as I love the above mentioned...I cannot make them all happy at once. And after this vacation I think I am done trying. We are five. Five different people at different stages of life...and there's gonna be times when someone is not getting what they want or getting their way. And it doesn't always have to be me.
~ I miss my friend more now that I spent some time with her on the way to Florida. :(
~ Change is good. It comes when it's ready whether or not you are. Strap on your seat belt and take the ride. It could be really good.
~ My friends are the family of my heart. They are the family I choose. I need them around. Making new friends is overrated.
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