Monday, March 14, 2011

PostHeaderIcon Cara: Are you gonna "like" this?

I don't mean are you going to like my post today. I mean are you going to "like" my post today. As in Facebook "like". If you don't do the FB then you won't know what I am talking about.

I am on the FB all the time. Most people I know are. Even if they are what we like to call "Facebook Stalkers". They are the ones that don't post much, but every once in awhile they "like" something or make a comment.

Yesterday I read an article in the newspaper about "Facebook Envy". Apparently it's what they are talking about these days on the psychiatrist's couch. Basically it talked about people scrolling through their Facebook friend's statuses depicting all the great things going on in their lives, while making themselves feel increasingly worse about their own lives.

I don't know if I buy that Facebook is to blame for that. I think if you are envious of other people you probably were before you started putting your kid's soccer game pictures on Facebook.

Sure sometimes maybe Facebook is annoying. But the great thing about it is you don't HAVE to read what people write. If someone is talking to your face ad nauseum about their kid's amazing dinosaur model made out of popsicle sticks you can't really groan and walk away that's rude. But if you are stalking their pictures and making yourself nuts because your kid's dinosaur looked crappy then...don't. It's really that easy.

I don't think people are going to post the every day to day crap that goes on in their lives. Would you want to know that I had some stomach thing yesterday simultaneously from both ends? (I did. Now you know. Aren't you glad? Ew, I know.) But imagine that as someone's status? I don't want to read that stuff. I like to read about their vacation updates. I may want to smack them for a minute when they post pictures of themselves swimming in blue waters while I am here in NY freezing my butt off in February. But really am I not going to go into a deep depression. Doubtful. Am I genuinely happy for other people? Sure most of the time. If I say all the time I would be lying. I am human here.

I am sure it's used now as bullying in the younger set...Mary reads Susie's status... "OMG!!! John's party was so awesome last night" when Susie knows dam well Mary wasn't invited. It's probably used to bully like that in the older set too.

People need to remember no one is going to post a picture of themselves where they look like crap. I have untagged myself in friends' pictures where I didn't like the way I looked. Not many gals will post when their husband didn't take out the garbage again and they are so pissed at them right now. They are not going to post their weight so everyone can know they have reached maximum density this week. But all those things happen in their lives. Facebook is a snapshot of their lives. It's a place to talk to friends, keep up with what's going, see pictures of their kids that you may not get to see in person...etc.

On FB...I have found out where to buy K-cups for my coffee maker cheaper, I have given my opinion on a Tempurpedic mattress to someone I went to HS with (that I haven't seen in 25 years) before she bought one of her own, I found out my cousin was expecting, I make plans with friends to meet for drinks in town, give school info out to other parents, share my kids' milestones with statuses and pictures immediately with grandparents that live out of state.

I like it. I don't have Facebook envy. No one should have FB envy. We are all the same at some level. Living life one day at a time, trying to make the best out of what we are given. We are all proud of our kids and most things that go on in our lives. I like to read about it all. When I don't feel like "liking" something I won't, although I  still sometimes long for a "dislike" button. But I will just ignore what I don't want to read until then. Do I secretly hope you "like" this. Maybe.

Jenn's two cents:  Sorry to hear about your tummy troubles.  FB is like a train wreck to me - you want to look away but just can't.  It definitely has it's uses - like knowing what is going on in your friends daily lives - and it has it's drawbacks - it sucks you in. It has let me catch up with some old friends and connect with some new ones -it has it's place and as you said - you don't have to read every word...skip on by if you don't "like" it.  Or "ignore" those people you don't want to recconnect with - you don't need 5000 friends - a few dozen will do.


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