Thursday, February 2, 2012

PostHeaderIcon Jenn: Guilt Free

Guilt: Guilt is the state of being responsible for the commission of an offense.[1] It is also a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes—accurately or not—that he or she has violated a moral standard, and bears significant responsibility for that violation.[2] It is closely related to the concept of remorse.

Guilt- we all use it one way or another. We may feel guilt about something we said or did (real or imagined) or we may use guilt to get others to do something for us. I tend to guilt my kids into cleaning up. Whatever way you use it, it can be a very powerful tool. My kids guilt me into things too. I am trying to not let that work... Sometimes it's hard. Motherly guilt can be our undoing.

This morning I was surprised through an e-mail exchange when an adult was trying to "guilt" me into letting my child do something that I already said No to.

One of my children were asked to participate in a fund-raising event. It involved a trip and getting people to join in. Because of grades, hubby & I decided that this child didn't deserve to go on said trip. The rule of thumb in my house is Good kids get good things. That covers day-to-day behavior and school work. Don't aske me for $20 bucks to go hang with your buds after you have been mean to your sibling or brought home a bad grade. Not happening.

When the trip was first proposed - as a fund raiser for a school club - with no parental input, I was not thrilled. From day one, the deal was excellent midterms mean yes and not so excellent mean No. So the grades came out - and though not horrific - they didn't live up to expectations. No trip.

When I emailed the adult in charge that my child would not be going on the trip, the response was immediate. Then the barrage of guilt. I offerd to donate whatever would have been raised by my child's attendance. Still more guilt.

So I decided not respond to the emails. I am not guilty of anything other than raising good, responsible children. I am the parent. I make the decisions I feel are right for my family - end of story.

Guilt free - it's how I am living my life... Just don't tell my kids!


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