Wednesday, January 1, 2014

PostHeaderIcon Cara: Happy New Year

Hi. 

Back from a long and I think much needed blog break. Sometimes I think you need to step back from something or someone and reevaluate. I wasn't sure if this blog was going to continue even after a lot of coaxing from very nice people who actually enjoy reading it(which still takes me by surprise). But we decided to ease back into it with no real pressure or undue "deadlines" or stress. 

So with that thought in mind...Happy New Year. Have you made any resolutions? Not me. I don't anymore. I may make them at other times throughout the year when I have one of those "Aha!" moments and realize I need to change something I am doing. 

I think resolutions on New Year's is really how you set yourself up to fail. I am really not about setting myself up to fail anymore. I think that is something I have finally learned you cannot strive for perfection because perfection is unattainable. Perfect is something I think tries to get the best of us especially around the holidays. I know it bites at my heels from when the first pumpkin is picked until I am sweeping confetti off my kitchen floor on New Year's day morning. I was thinking how lovely my Christmas mantle was this year and how happy it made me but at that same time thinking, yeah looks lovely but if anyone went up into your bedroom your perfect mantle situation would go right out the window. 

With an unmade bed, because when there's 500 million presents to wrap and cookies to be baked and shopping still yet to be done who's got "making the bed" on the top of the to do list? Not me most of these days, if I am being honest. And not to mention that from around Thanksgiving until a few days before the big day, Christmas has thrown up on my bedroom floor, desk and rocking chair. I have secret wrapping paper, Amazon boxes, new Christmas outfits etc., etc., etc. from one end to the other. All half covered in sheets and half waiting to be wrapped in my makeshift outpost wrapping station, in the corner when I have to covertly wrap certain gifts.

Then I had two separate conversations with moms about the state of their bedrooms. Theirs looked just like mine. Duh. I never really thought about that. They were keeping their stash the same place I do. Their bedrooms looked like an Amazon shipping department too!! And here I was thinking that they had red flannel sheets with little reindeer on their beds tucked neatly with hospital corners under a green down comforter with pillows fluffed and a fire burning in their bedroom fireplace (now you know what my "perfect" Christmas bedroom looks like). Nope not even close.

This all just reminded me about not searching for Christmas perfection. Can you maybe improve on something from last year? Do certain things start to fall flat but you just keep doing them just  'cause you always did it that way? Can you change something you always did and do it differently? Sure. That's adjusting, not perfection. 

I decided last year after a particularly trying holiday season for no reason in particular and everything in general, plus probably a lot of that perfection thing going on...to give myself a break this year. I actually tried being a little kinder to myself this holiday season. I accepted that invitation to dinner and just brought a pie. I sat on Thanksgiving morning with coffee and the Black Friday circular and watched the parade on TV. I actually made a conscious effort to get outfits for each holiday instead of wearing "whatever" while I made sure everyone else had new duds. I made less cookies and made them over the course of two weeks instead of 900 batches in one night and sitting holding my head up at the kitchen table waiting for them to cool at 1 a.m.  I went into the city to see the tree which I have seen a gazillion times but still takes my breath away when I turn that corner and see it. I made sure I went to bed early about every other night. I took vitamins and extra Vitamin C's to keep me from getting run down and sick. I gave myself a "done day" of December 18th so I could enjoy the week leading up to Christmas without having a to do list ten miles long still staring at me. I enjoy that week most of all because it's really not about the gifts for me. My Christmas gift to myself was to go easy on myself. It worked pretty nicely. Could I have gone easier on myself? Probably. But next year I will try to again. 

So this new year while everyone is dieting and organizing (ok I will be too who the hell am I kidding??) I will resolve to give myself a break. Be a little more forgiving to the maybe not so perfect gal I look at in the mirror. I will let the people in my life that don't really want be in it go, with no hard feelings or regret.  I will not set myself up to fail. I will not cram every single square on my calendar every month with so much there's no room to write. I will continue to do the things I love like entertain, read and create with no need to be accountable to nay-sayers. I will let people be who they are and if they don't meet my expectations that's ok too. I only can have expectations for myself. And if I don't meet all my own expectations then that's ok too. All I can do is try. And there's always 2015......


Happy New Year. Be nice to yourself this year.

6 comments:

Facebook Friends Comments said...

Bravo.. Although, I am not a parent. I can relate. I love the thought of being more patient and not so hard myself...
Happy New Year...

Facebook Friends Comments said...

Thanks for sharing. Reflecting is one of my favorite parts of the New Year. This post reminds me of how I think about lists. Not grocery lists or shopping lists, rather "things I should do" lists or bucket lists, like take a trip somewhere, or to see a specific museum, or even baking. It's about doing these things for the enjoyment of doing them, spending time really appreciating them, and making memories while doing it. Too many people get caught up in doing these types of things just so they can check another item off of some "status" list. It's like a lackluster, obligatory task rather than memories in the making. The holiday season has become so much more important as I get older, the parents get older and the kids become teenagers and adults. So what if the garland didn't get hung on the railing this year, or if the bows aren't just right. If each and every minute spent together with loved ones was enjoyable and memorable, that's all that matters.

Wishing you a Happy New Year. And while I don't have any specific resolutions dedicated to a New Years resolution either, getting healthy is a priority for me!

xo

Facebook Friends Comments said...

Thanks for sharing. Reflecting is one of my favorite parts of the New Year. This post reminds me of how I think about lists. Not grocery lists or shopping lists, rather "things I should do" lists or bucket lists, like take a trip somewhere, or to see a specific museum, or even baking. It's about doing these things for the enjoyment of doing them, spending time really appreciating them, and making memories while doing it. Too many people get caught up in doing these types of things just so they can check another item off of some "status" list. It's like a lackluster, obligatory task rather than memories in the making. The holiday season has become so much more important as I get older, the parents get older and the kids become teenagers and adults. So what if the garland didn't get hung on the railing this year, or if the bows aren't just right. If each and every minute spent together with loved ones was enjoyable and memorable, that's all that matters.

Wishing you a Happy New Year. And while I don't have any specific resolutions dedicated to a New Years resolution either, getting healthy is a priority for me!

xo

Facebook Friends Comments said...

Love it

Facebook Friends Comments said...

Nice to see you back. I, too, never make resolutions. Life is challenging enough without adding anything extra to it. Just try to do my best

Facebook Friends Comments said...

Very wise start to the New Year. Christmas was great and thankfully not "perfect." Remember what "the man" used to tell us, "God asks only that we do our best." Perfection belongs to him. You will be happy to know I still have to make the bed at 6:30 p.m. Spent the afternoon on the phone with a friend rather than tidying up the house. Happy New Year, daughter dear!

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