Someone in a recent "heated" discussion said to me "Oh I forgot you are the perfect mother". I dam near lost my mind. Granted there were other things going on before and during this "discussion" there were contributors to why I wanted to throttle this person. But later on after the dust settled I was thinking about why that was the one thing this person said to really set me off.

Do I think I am the "perfect mother"?  Do other people perceive me as someone who thinks she is the "perfect mother"?

Do I think I am perfect? Not even close. Do I sometimes set myself up striving for perfection and miss the mark? Yeah, most days. I think we would all love to be perfect at least once in awhile. And I would go out on a limb and say some days I could come pretty close...mothering wise that is. (in other ways...maybe not so much)

As moms we have some days we are awesome. (someone else also once told me "you are awesome at life"...I prefer to remind myself of that comment rather than "perfect") We are right on it. Make the right decision. Take the kid to the doctor 'cause we just know they are getting sick to find they have a raging ear infection brewing. Make them a birthday cake they still talk about 12 years later.

I could make an equally long list of the days when we are maybe not so perfect. One that would include yelling like a banshee when they have put us over the edge for the 10th time in a day. Or not having the patience of a saint that it takes to help a kid get four pages of spelling done at 5:00 in the afternoon. Or looking for a moment, at a teenager with thoughts of ways to inflict pain on them, while thinking this cannot be the sweet child who once thought I was all that and a bag of chips.

So do I strive for perfection? Maybe in 100 little ways. Will there ever be total perfection? Never. I hope that is not the face I present to the world. I know I would not want to be around someone who thinks they are perfect. Imperfect people who brag all the time are enough for me to want to pummel...never mind the perfect person.

So June Cleaver I will never be. Maybe somewhere between her and Rosanne Connor is a comfy place to sit. I'll take it.

This Sunday, a group of the "girls" and I went on the Holiday House Tour. This was our 3rd or 4th time doing it together. It is a lot of fun. We get to walk through other people's homes and get great ideas or just see beautiful houses. Afterwards we go to lunch and talk about the houses, the decorating or just BS and catch up over a glass of wine and a nice meal. A whole day without kids or spouses. A time out in the busiest time of the year.

All the houses are "historical." Some more historical than others. My favorite was built in 1780 and held a lot of the original charm. It was decorated beautifully. I spoke to the owner, found out where she bought her furniture and put in on my list of places to go. There were 5 houses on the tour this year. The first three we visited were stunning. Just beautifully done, decorated tastefully and clutter free. All three happened to be on the water. Beautiful water views, just charming. The fourth house we went to, not so much. Stuff everywhere, clutter everywhere, cramped and small and uncomfortable. One of the girls made it through the first floor and went out. I made it through the first floor, up to the second and then out I went. it was too much for me. While standing outside waiting for the rest of the group, I said to my friend, I don't understand why someone puts their house on the tour when it looks like this. I will not do it (yes, the historical society has already approached me) until my house is perfect. She gave me the greatest answer and one I had never really thought about. "Everyone's perfect is different." The last house was worse, I couldn't wait to get out.

My perfect is not over-the-top. It is just clean, clutter free, nicely decorated. Not everything in my house is perfect, and sometimes it is more perfect than others. If I know you are coming, then yes, the candles are lit, the bathroom is freshly scrubbed, there might even be fresh flowers. If you stop by and surprise me, there might be dishes in the sink or an unmade bed. But if I knew the whole town was coming, it would be freshly painted, perfectly placed decorations and absolutely spotless without a single dust particle in sight. How people can let someone in their home - in fact, hundreds of someone's - and have dust and clutter and stuff everywhere was mind boggling to me. But now I understand, that everyone's perfect is different, I am going to work on this. On not letting my perfect get in my way, stress me out or cause me to freak out at my kids when things are not just so. As much as I love Christmas, it brings with it a lot of stuff. Decorations everywhere, surfaces covered in Santas and reindeer. Today I was complaining about a Christmas display my daughter put up. It was just too much for me. I wanted desperately to rip it apart. But so far, there it sits, and I am going to try to live with it. Because everyone's perfect is different and my daughter thinks her Christmas town is perfect - so I will too.