Who are they, the women that mess up these bathrooms? I know it’s no one I know because people I know are the 10 layers of TP on the toilet seat types. Most women I come upon in public bathrooms look respectable enough. I see those women checking stalls before barreling in to use the facilities. Even if they have their legs squeezed together because they are about to wet themselves they still check. And they will go look to use another one if that one is not up to snuff. They may even double check if the droplets on the seat are splash from the ridiculous flusher that could suck down a small child or something someone has left behind. If they are not sure then it’s on to another stall.

Who does not flush? Who leaves things that I will not describe (use your imagination), in the bowl for some poor soul to clean up? Who sits there and writes “why I hate my husband” on the wall? I couldn’t care less why you hate your husband. I am more concerned why you need to write it on the wall and if you really needed to do this why didn’t you bring a Sharpie and not some obviously poor writing implement?

I cannot figure it out. But I want to know who they are. Or do I? I shudder to think what lurks in their bathrooms at home. I know I have never come across such a woman. I have never gone into a stall after standing on line for 30 minutes, waiting for a door to open, to have a surprise waiting for me from the customer before me. If anything I think “well she’s ok I don’t’ have a problem using the stall after her”. And I make it a rule not to use gross bathrooms, like port-o-potties or gas station bathrooms unless it’s a dire and I mean dire emergency….and I pee a lot. (I know TMI, sorry) I am talking about bathrooms in local establishments where people I live in the same town with use, bathrooms in fancy Las Vegas Hotels, fancy grown up restaurants, upscale department stores.

At a wedding we tip the lady in the bathroom, one of few that are spotless. You know the lady who hands you a paper towel that is not less than 10 inches from where you are standing at the sink? Well for God’s sake she is sitting there staring at you holding the towel…what the hell are you supposed to do? And heaven forbid if you decide in a quick decision to just run in without your purse and you have no money on you, you feel guilty not tipping her.

Well I think the poor soul who has to clean up after these slobs in public bathrooms should have a glass jar. I know I would not mind slipping her a buck or two.