Thursday, May 20, 2010
Jenn: It's not you it's me
Posted by
Cara
There is that line that we feed each other- the one where someone tells you it's not you - nothing you did - its all about them - they are not ready or not right in the head or whatever. It’s an excuse that we use to make the other person feel better - to direct the feelings of inadequacy away from the other person and onto ourselves. Except its all a big fat lie. 'Cause if something isn't working out with someone than it is about them and you and the two of you together.
It's the same with our friends and our children. It's okay to get mad at them. It's not okay to take the blame every time you do. It is about them - whatever it was they did to piss you off and it's about you too. Some things we need to let go. Some things we don't. We need to teach our children that there are boundaries and ways to treat people with respect although you might not always agree with them. It's okay to disagree. This is something I am desperately trying to teach Mae. Every time I disagree with her, she thinks I am angry or mean or both. At the ripe old age of 11 she still thinks the world is one big happy place and there is no room for disagreement. I am trying to teach her that its ok to disagree and you can still be friends.
There are people in the world where everything is about them. I avoid those people. I need a give and take in my relationships. Sometimes its about me and sometimes its about you - most of the time its about our kids. As long as we're all on the same page than the world can be one big happy place.
Cara's two cents: Oh, it's totally you. It's not me. (hee hee)
It's the same with our friends and our children. It's okay to get mad at them. It's not okay to take the blame every time you do. It is about them - whatever it was they did to piss you off and it's about you too. Some things we need to let go. Some things we don't. We need to teach our children that there are boundaries and ways to treat people with respect although you might not always agree with them. It's okay to disagree. This is something I am desperately trying to teach Mae. Every time I disagree with her, she thinks I am angry or mean or both. At the ripe old age of 11 she still thinks the world is one big happy place and there is no room for disagreement. I am trying to teach her that its ok to disagree and you can still be friends.
There are people in the world where everything is about them. I avoid those people. I need a give and take in my relationships. Sometimes its about me and sometimes its about you - most of the time its about our kids. As long as we're all on the same page than the world can be one big happy place.
Cara's two cents: Oh, it's totally you. It's not me. (hee hee)
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