Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Jenn: Parents Suck - a response
Posted by
Cara
Jenn's two cents: Parenting is hard. Some days I feel like a rock star mom and other days I can honestly say sucked. The thing is you have to try - and on the bad days you can't beat yourself up about it. Many parents have already given up. It's never too late to try and be better for yourself and your kids. Kids learn by example, plain and simple so if you are not a good person, than you are not raising good kids. If you talk to your kids like they are trash - they will talk to their friends that way and so the cycle continues.
Ballerina went to a Bat Mitzvah this weekend - in New York City. 150 kids were invited - 112 went. Two coach buses ferried these kids into the city. It was a sports themed party at a well known location - the kids were told casual dress and sneakers. My daughter and her ballet friends all went in nice sweats, shorts, sneakers - ready to play. Her description of the other kids made my hair stand on end. Tank tops cut out everywhere, bikini tops with lace shirts over, lots of cleavage, hair, makeup and boys. She told me the behavior of the other kids was appalling - the language, the rudeness, the blatant disrespect for adults - she couldn't believe kids acted that way. She stuck with her group of 10 - all good kids and had a blast. My response to her was - it's how they are raised. Children who are given everything - and then left on their own - end up being kids like she just described - when there are no consequences for actions - and kids get away with dumping soda out or cursing or dressing like tramps, its the parents fault. As Cara called it - it is sucking at being a parent. I am a big believer in "picking your battles" and there are some things you need to let slide - but rudeness towards adults and dressing like a tramp are not one of them. I was proud of my daughter and her friends that they could see how badly the other kids were behaving and staying away from them.
You can't give up. Every time you experience a setback with your kids, you need to gear up and get back in the game. Change your tactics, change the rules, whatever it takes to get that kid back on track. But as Cara pointed out so many parents live through their kids - that they forget to be parents and revert to children themselves and that is when they start to suck. So that is my two cents from Cara's post yesterday - guess it's more like a buck fifty.
Ballerina went to a Bat Mitzvah this weekend - in New York City. 150 kids were invited - 112 went. Two coach buses ferried these kids into the city. It was a sports themed party at a well known location - the kids were told casual dress and sneakers. My daughter and her ballet friends all went in nice sweats, shorts, sneakers - ready to play. Her description of the other kids made my hair stand on end. Tank tops cut out everywhere, bikini tops with lace shirts over, lots of cleavage, hair, makeup and boys. She told me the behavior of the other kids was appalling - the language, the rudeness, the blatant disrespect for adults - she couldn't believe kids acted that way. She stuck with her group of 10 - all good kids and had a blast. My response to her was - it's how they are raised. Children who are given everything - and then left on their own - end up being kids like she just described - when there are no consequences for actions - and kids get away with dumping soda out or cursing or dressing like tramps, its the parents fault. As Cara called it - it is sucking at being a parent. I am a big believer in "picking your battles" and there are some things you need to let slide - but rudeness towards adults and dressing like a tramp are not one of them. I was proud of my daughter and her friends that they could see how badly the other kids were behaving and staying away from them.
You can't give up. Every time you experience a setback with your kids, you need to gear up and get back in the game. Change your tactics, change the rules, whatever it takes to get that kid back on track. But as Cara pointed out so many parents live through their kids - that they forget to be parents and revert to children themselves and that is when they start to suck. So that is my two cents from Cara's post yesterday - guess it's more like a buck fifty.
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Cara
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