Wednesday, February 2, 2011

PostHeaderIcon Cara: Parenting 101

So, last night I started this post and I was in a mood. (surprise!) But in my attempt to be in a better frame of mind, breathe and all that, I am rewriting it this morning. I supposed I slept on it as they say? Anyway, there's always a better way to say things when you have thought about them for a while.

 I never claimed to be super parent. I don't know anyone who is. There are some that do things better than others, better than me. But I, like most parents I know, do their best.

So, in case some parents were absent that day, or cut class 'cause they thought they were cool, never fear. I took notes. I would be happy to let you copy for the test. I was always told I should use black pen, but I have always prefered blue.

1. Don't live vicariously through your children. Don't pin what you "missed out on" or "weren't" on them to achieve now for you. Try letting them show you what they want to be and help them achieve that. You won't be cool now at middle age just because you think your kid is. If you haven't managed cool by now...give it up.

2. No need to buy them every thing that they want, even if you are able to. (Yes, I have heard you tell everyone how much everything you buy your kids' nauseum..Thanks we got it.)   You will surely have to play the name brand game later on when they are about pre-teen or so. They really don't need to know that name brands are showy when they haven't even reached double digits in age yet. (side note:  I like name brand stuff I won't lie. My big kids LOVE name brand stuff...but they're teenagers. I dress my little kid in some brand stuff I admit. He has no clue though, I don't think, he just wears what I lay on his bed in the morning.) "Everything they need and some of what they want" is a good measure, don't you think? I didn't make that up, remember these are just my class notes.

3. Everything in due time. If you give them privileges that say, a 13 year old gets at the ripe old age of 8, you are creating a monster and more aggravation for yourself.  "Little kids little problems, big kids big problems." (I used to hate that saying until it kicked me in my ass...and it will kick you too...just wait, no matter how good your kids are) You need to remind yourself over and over again...that you are not shooting your kid in the foot, if you put your foot down and expect them to act their age and not like a teenager when they are still "single digit" age. (that's a hard one sometimes!)

4. Instead of making everything a competition between your kids and parent "friends" (I use that term loosely) try teaching teamwork, empathy, kindness, respect, humility, consideration, unselfishness, "un-self centeredness", friendship. (There were very many more. I may have left to use the bathroom at that point.)

So those are some of the notes I took in class. If I make it to Parenting 102 I will take notes again. I don't mind sharing them...we all need to be on the same page. I got your back.


Rosanne said...

I would love to tell you my thoughts but I think it might constitute a guest post not a comment.

Cara and Jenn said...

A guest post is MORE than welcome away!

Anonymous said...

I think we need to teach our teens how to budget their money. Many seem to think that all money is disposable income. Being so doted upon as a child doesn't an appreciative man make. My son in law (age 29)cries poor when he makes 160K and doesn't pay a mortgage. He is behind in his child support and has no savings. He truly does not see anything wrong with the way he manages his money and claims people just don't understand how hard it is for him to get by. I'm sure there are a few brand name clothes in his closet which are considered necessities. If we truly want the best for our kids, we should teach them how to attain the best for themselves.

Anonymous said...

I think I took that same class! LOL-well said.

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