Wednesday, January 25, 2012

PostHeaderIcon Cara: 7 Qualities of Women You Want To Be Around....

In keeping with my month's "theme" of getting things in order, I have been going through papers. MOUNTAINS of papers. Let just say, I have so much to get rid of that I cannot possibly sit and shred it all. I will go insane. I am waiting for a not windy weekend and I'm going to burn it in the fire pit outside. But I have come upon things that I am saving. (I did ditch the first birthday cards though!) An article "7 Qualities of Women You Want To Be Around" is one them. When I cut it out and stuck in a folder I didn't know when or why I would read it again. I am glad I saved it.

1. "They see the strengths not the limitations, in others. They make you proud to be yourself-because they tell you why you're special."

One of the things that caught my attention about this article is it said "women you want to be around", not necessarily the woman you want to be. I think we would all like to think we are someone people other people want to be around. I do. I also know there are times when I am someone I don't want to be around.

I like #1 because it's something I have been trying to be conscious of lately. I am not a "serial compliment-er". Meaning that I don't compliment someone unless I mean it. And I get uncomfortable if I think someone's trying to blow smoke up my ass by complimenting me...all the time. I have gotten much better at taking a compliment. I don't right away give the anti-compliment back, i.e. Them:"I like your shirt" Me: "Really? I only paid $10 for it".  Dumb. Now I just say thanks!

More times then not, it seemed that I thought something in my "Wow she lost a lot of weight, she looks great" and then for whatever reason I didn't tell them. I don't know why. Then someone else says it out loud and I jump on the bandwagon too when I should have said it first.

So I have been making a conscious effort to say it out loud. Tell someone they did a great job when I truly think they did. Tell someone when I love their new sweater when I really do. Tell a mom what a nice kid they have, (and usually that happens when they seem to be at their wits end with their kid, and then the lightbulb goes off that yes do have a nice kid!) I make sure I thank people when they really need to be thanked.

I am trying to be conscious of people's "plates" and who's is way too full for them even though I am carrying around a serving platter in comparison.  I am trying to see their strengths rather than get irritated at what I perceive their limitations to be.

I always told my daughter your friends are not people that make you feel bad when you are with them. They make you feel better about who you are. I guess I got that one right.


Carlene said...

Love this, I too sometimes forget to compliment when I am thinking it in my head. Don't know why I do it either. I know I am trying to be more aware. (Must come with age lol) As always love the blog always always a good message:)

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