Showing posts with label 7 Qualities of Women You Want To Be Around. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 7 Qualities of Women You Want To Be Around. Show all posts
Monday, January 30, 2012
Cara: 7 Qualities Of Women You Want To Be Around...
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Cara "They live by their own rules
...but don't expect you to follow them."
I think one of the reason I used to get dissappointed by other people is because I expected them to be or act in a certain way and when they didn't I was let down.
I mean, I do expect certain things from my children, my husband my close friends. I don't think that's unreasonable. I think there are mutual expectations there...respect, honesty, loyalty to name a few.
But as far as other people I have learned that they don't necessarily have to follow my "rules" nor should they. Everyone has a different view of what is right. My right may not be theirs. And unless it's something OBVIOUSLY right, and something that's subjective then it's fine.
When I was younger most of my friends or people I associated with were like me. Now it seems that my circles are filled with people alike me in some ways and very unlike me in other ways. Many people I know parent very differently from the way I do. Not to say there's is wrong..although one time I would have said they were wrong. Now I just say that works for them, but it's not the way I would do it.
I think most people do what they need to do to raise their children, make friends, gain what they perceive to be social status,or simply get through their day. I may not agree with how they do it, or what they think. But I may tolerate like who they are. And what they do probably doesn't affect me.
So whatever. I do it my way. You do it your way. Play nice in the sandbox. You don't throw sand at me, I won't bury you. It's really that easy.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Cara: 7 Qualities of Women You Want To Be Around....
1. "They see the strengths not the limitations, in others. They make you proud to be yourself-because they tell you why you're special."
One of the things that caught my attention about this article is it said "women you want to be around", not necessarily the woman you want to be. I think we would all like to think we are someone people other people want to be around. I do. I also know there are times when I am someone I don't want to be around.
I like #1 because it's something I have been trying to be conscious of lately. I am not a "serial compliment-er". Meaning that I don't compliment someone unless I mean it. And I get uncomfortable if I think someone's trying to blow smoke up my ass by complimenting me...all the time. I have gotten much better at taking a compliment. I don't right away give the anti-compliment back, i.e. Them:"I like your shirt" Me: "Really? I only paid $10 for it". Dumb. Now I just say thanks!
More times then not, it seemed that I thought something in my head...like "Wow she lost a lot of weight, she looks great" and then for whatever reason I didn't tell them. I don't know why. Then someone else says it out loud and I jump on the bandwagon too when I should have said it first.
So I have been making a conscious effort to say it out loud. Tell someone they did a great job when I truly think they did. Tell someone when I love their new sweater when I really do. Tell a mom what a nice kid they have, (and usually that happens when they seem to be at their wits end with their kid, and then the lightbulb goes off that yes do have a nice kid!) I make sure I thank people when they really need to be thanked.
I am trying to be conscious of people's "plates" and who's is way too full for them even though I am carrying around a serving platter in comparison. I am trying to see their strengths rather than get irritated at what I perceive their limitations to be.
I always told my daughter your friends are not people that make you feel bad when you are with them. They make you feel better about who you are. I guess I got that one right.
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