Monday, January 9, 2012
Cara: At Home
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Cara "The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest" ~Thomas Moore
I'm not sure exactly how much the Irish poet Thomas Moore really knew about caring for the home...since he died in the 1800's and I would imagine he would not have been doing much around the house back in the day. But I agree with his quote.
When Diva was born (in 1993) I was the only one on my block who worked full time. I felt like a leper. By the time Junior was born in 1995 I was a stay at home mom. It was a good fit for me. I was not a good working mom. I had odd part time jobs here and there over the years. By the time Shorty was born the 90's generation of moms I knew went back to work in some capacity or another...whether it was back to an old career or a part time job while the kids were in school.
I wasn't in the "while the kids were in school" position until 2007. By then I had found my niche as the PTA mom. The mom who could pickup after school. The mom who made dinner every night, and went on every class trip. The wife who took care of things on the home front while the man "hunted" for the family.
Fast forward to 2011, to Junior's social studies class. For whatever reason, the teacher asked who's mom didn't work. Guess who was the only one to raise his hand? He thought it was funny. I asked him would he rather I worked? He said no. (good!)
I know people think I have a lot of time on my hands. And I suppose I do. I could go back to sleep after everyone leaves in the morning. I never do. For a few years I felt I needed to validate why I am home. And that I AM very busy! Just look at my to do list!!!
I don't anymore. I know I made the right decision for my family. I know I am extremely lucky that I get to make that choice.
I go through my daily round, and take care of my home (I mean that figuratively too...) so that we all have a place to be. A place to come in from the cold and shut out the world. I have know all along that what I do for my home and my family is important. I know that most of the time it's taken for granted. "Can you bring my school book to school I forgot it it at home?" "Hi, I am ready to be picked up and can we drop off Moe, Larry and Curly home too?" "I would like a birthday cake in the shape of the Statue of Liberty this year..." "Do I have any clean underwear?"...and on and on.
But when one bird leaves the nest but then gets the urge to come home to a house that's decorated for fall, with a big warm bed with fresh sheets and wants "that thing" I make for dinner...well then that's my pay check. My validation.
So I will continue on my pursuit of "order" this month of January. Throwing out black garbage bags as big as me is good for my soul.
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2 comments:
Hi Cara and Jenn,
Your opening quote is from Care of the Soul published in 1992 by the contemporary American writer and psychotherapist, Thomas Moore who currently lives in New Hampshire.
I stand corrected.
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