Showing posts with label january. Show all posts
Showing posts with label january. Show all posts
Monday, January 9, 2012
Cara: At Home
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Cara "The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest" ~Thomas Moore
I'm not sure exactly how much the Irish poet Thomas Moore really knew about caring for the home...since he died in the 1800's and I would imagine he would not have been doing much around the house back in the day. But I agree with his quote.
When Diva was born (in 1993) I was the only one on my block who worked full time. I felt like a leper. By the time Junior was born in 1995 I was a stay at home mom. It was a good fit for me. I was not a good working mom. I had odd part time jobs here and there over the years. By the time Shorty was born the 90's generation of moms I knew went back to work in some capacity or another...whether it was back to an old career or a part time job while the kids were in school.
I wasn't in the "while the kids were in school" position until 2007. By then I had found my niche as the PTA mom. The mom who could pickup after school. The mom who made dinner every night, and went on every class trip. The wife who took care of things on the home front while the man "hunted" for the family.
Fast forward to 2011, to Junior's social studies class. For whatever reason, the teacher asked who's mom didn't work. Guess who was the only one to raise his hand? He thought it was funny. I asked him would he rather I worked? He said no. (good!)
I know people think I have a lot of time on my hands. And I suppose I do. I could go back to sleep after everyone leaves in the morning. I never do. For a few years I felt I needed to validate why I am home. And that I AM very busy! Just look at my to do list!!!
I don't anymore. I know I made the right decision for my family. I know I am extremely lucky that I get to make that choice.
I go through my daily round, and take care of my home (I mean that figuratively too...) so that we all have a place to be. A place to come in from the cold and shut out the world. I have know all along that what I do for my home and my family is important. I know that most of the time it's taken for granted. "Can you bring my school book to school I forgot it it at home?" "Hi, I am ready to be picked up and can we drop off Moe, Larry and Curly home too?" "I would like a birthday cake in the shape of the Statue of Liberty this year..." "Do I have any clean underwear?"...and on and on.
But when one bird leaves the nest but then gets the urge to come home to a house that's decorated for fall, with a big warm bed with fresh sheets and wants "that thing" I make for dinner...well then that's my pay check. My validation.
So I will continue on my pursuit of "order" this month of January. Throwing out black garbage bags as big as me is good for my soul.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Cara: New year....
I must admit I do love January. Never mind the cold...really yesterday was the first cold day I can
I also do not make resolutions. Small changes stick better for me. Instead I like to reflect on what went right the year before and what went wrong. Luckily most of 2011 went right. Yes, there were bumps but I think I have learned from them. That's all we can do I think. Years ago, I would go into the new year with all kinds of plans and high expectations for myself. No more. One thing I learned last year is to give myself a break. And I have let myself slide here and there. That's huge for me as no one is harder on me than me.
So besides January being about Order...(ship shape remember?) I will remember to look for those moments. I will remember that the days may seem long but the years are short. I will put me on the top of my to do list more often.
Last night at dusk I was driving in my car. The sky was a beautiful purple pink, I could see for miles with just the bare tree branches in the way...and the theme from St. Elmo's Fire was playing on my 80's satellite station. So for that moment I remembered how much I like that song and how beautiful a 26 degree evening winter sky can be. Moments.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Cara: New you? What's wrong with the old one?
I have now officially grown tired of hearing about the "new you". Why is January automatically supposed to make you want to be a new you? What if you felt like being a new you in let's say April? Or maybe, just maybe, you are kinda OK with the "you" you are now? I mean I am just saying.
I am tired of one diet commercial after the other telling me that I need to eat their freeze dried food or come to their meeting otherwise I will be a fat ass again this year. I don't want to hear about how I need to get dental implants or a "mommy makeover" so I can finally stop looking like something the cat dragged in.
We all know what we have to do to be the best "me". Whether it be to eat better, exercise, go to church, mend fences, be "nice" to others or whatever. Sometimes we can do things to better ourselves. Sometimes we can't. Maybe it's out of your control or you are not where you need to be to make the changes that need to be done. But we need to do it ourselves. We need to turn away from the "world" and figure out what we we want to change, not what they say we have to change.
But most importantly we need to decide if we want to change. And if we don't, and if we are fine with who we are, what we look like,where live etc. then that's OK too. If the laugh lines on our face tell a story of who we are and where we've been and we are OK with that, then so be it.
I saw a movie the other night with actors who had wrinkles, and flabby arms and maybe not the body they remember from their 20's. But they had affairs, and dates, wore nice clothes and ate real food, desserts even! (along with healthy food thrown in for good measure) and lived a happy life. And they were all a good 16-20 years older than me. So that makes me think there's hope for me yet!
Funny thing is yesterday Diva and friend were looking at old pictures of me, comparing them to more recent ones. She said "We decided that you look better now than 20 years ago." Hmm. Was that a compliment or an insult? Hmm...
When I used to look at those pictures I saw a smooth faced "girl", who didn't recently start using eye cream at night. She had a slim face and a bright smile, nothing like the woman who for the past few years has avoided being in the picture whenever possible. But in the dawn of Facebook and digital photography there seems to be a camera everywhere and a photo uploaded or downloaded daily, and not "being" in pictures is getting hard. The gal in these pictures may not be as thin, but there's an air about her. She looks like she knows where's she's been and is (mostly) comfortable in her skin.
So it's possible to be your best, whatever that is without listening to them. We all don't wake up everyday thinking we are fantastic, gorgeous and amazing. But somedays, ya know what?
We are.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Cara: Ready, set, go...
And we are off. A new year. The first "regular" day of the new year is really the beginning for me. I know it's the 4th already but the last few days were still "the holidays" around here. Still eating non-stop and seriously if I eat another Christmas cookies I will die. Still sleeping later than usual and still have Santas looking at me in every room.
Today everything starts to get re-wrapped and put away. Places that were covered with angels, Christmas trees and glitter will get wiped and polished. The everyday stuff that has been patiently waiting in the Christmas tubs downstairs will be brought back out and put in their rightful place.
By the time I am done the house will feel lighter and seem to breathe a sigh of relief. As will I. As much as I love, love, love Christmas and all that comes with it, I kinda like regular too. Like I told Mike who was a little bummed that Christmas is over, without regular stuff the great stuff wouldn't be so great.
Now I am not looking forward to the rest of the winter. I like winter from Thanksgiving to about now. We had a white Christmas which was awesome. It snowed just enough not to make trouble on New Years. It had snowed all day yesterday which was lovely, since we had no where pressing to be. But I am good. Winter can take a hike now. I know though that's not going to happen, as hard as I wish..no dice.
So this month for me it's about organizing. I will tackle the house room by room. I can't sit at the beach but I can get my linen closet not to look like there has been a pillow fight going on in there for the past two months. I got new everyday dishes for Christmas so I can purge my kitchen cabinets and make room for them and get rid of "stuff" lurking in the back. If I keep very busy maybe I won't notice the grayness outside.
So I am planning on grabbing January by the...well you know what, and getting things done. That's my theme for the month. Someone may get hurt. Wish me luck.
Jenn's two cents: You go girl! I am looking forward to January - to staying inside and not having to go anywhere - I have a linen closet that needs some help too!
Cara: Maybe our linen closets have been pillow fighting each other?? lol
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