Friday, November 14, 2014

PostHeaderIcon Cara: Laundry on my kitchen floor

Yeah there is. Laundry on my kitchen floor at 9:30 pm. Well I mean it's not like strewn all over the floor, but it's all there waiting to be folded in baskets. I intended on folding it after dinner. But I'm not. (such a rebel...I know, I know.) It will be there tomorrow unless someone else in this house folds it before morning(not gonna happen).

Besides the fact that I am just plain tired tonight, it's an example of where my mind is at...or going to now. 

I am and always will be Type A personality with a side of OCD. But months of taking a step back, laying low and re-evaluating I am learning things like if the laundry is there in the quiet morning before men get up, after I have had a night's sleep, and a cup of coffee I can fold it then and the earth will not stop spinning. 

Hubby made the "first fire" in the fireplace tonight. I like just sit around when the fire is on in the evenings. Too many of those evenings gone by I was scurrying around doing this and that before I would even consider slowing down and enjoying it. Too many nights I didn't sit on the couch with a cat on my lap watching something good on TV. Now that I think of it, too many nights I didn't sit around with an old dog's face in my lap and now she isn't here anymore. Was I thinking of that at this time last year? "Hey you better take a night off and go sit with that old dog 'cause she's probably not going to be here next year." Sadly no. 

Point is, I am taking the time. I'm taking the time so slow down. It's not always easy, especially with a tween boy involved in 8 million things that keep us running. (and running) 

I am s-l-o-w-l-y learning to say "no" and that being OK. (No is a sentence.) No to "obligations" which really aren't obligations, just at one time I thought I was obliged. But choosing what's important of my time and energy. Realizing I am not responsible for the happiness of everyone I know. I'm not. Letting go of those pressures to "do" and "be". Letting go of people who don't want or deserve my energy and suddenly realizing there were people standing in the wings waiting for me to remember they are still there and have been quietly waiting for me to realize that all along. It's amazing the things you discover when you stop long enough to see and listen. 

But even as a family we are learning we need to take the time. Passing up some opportunities that seem great in lieu of not ruining our holidays with too much extra running and not enough just being. Recent "of age" children taking the opportunity for a family jaunt the night before Thanksgiving, forgoing what happens to be the THE party night of the year to do family stuff. 

So I hope if I say no a lot more lately people won't think me rude. I need to say yes to the right things.

So yes to sitting by the fire after making hubby and I a cup of coffee. Yes, to that one-eyed cat who must suffocate me while I try to balance my lap top on my knees.

Although you will never see a Jack o' Lantern still on my porch after November 1st (seriously,I would get a rash), but this year you may not see every hall decked with boughs of holly the day after Thanksgiving either. I have that weekend with all my kiddies under one roof... and we are going to enjoy it. 

Wishing you time. Use it wisely. 


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